Valentines edition
February142013
December232012
Survived another night of speedballs.
December112012
The thrills and chills of a rapid taper.
December72012
Couple pics this morning
I call them “junky breakfast” and “junky holidays”. My works staff party is tonight, I’ve had about one or two hours of sleep. Me and this Mrs. were up doing speedballs and having sex all night. This binge has to end now, time to clean up for the holidays. Got a hair cut, shaved, gonna suffer withdrawal all weekend, gotta make my family, friends, and coworkers think I’m doing well. Me and my girl are doing great, I’m stoked to be clean with her.
11AM
“Junky holidays”
Planning to go straight for the rest of the year, for social and economic reasons. Oh and it’s bad. One last speedball, in front of the Christmas tree. Happy holidays, fuck heads.
December52012
Speedball.
December32012
One point, one shot
December12012
It is always your last shot, big fat shot before you go dry when something like this happens. I registered a few times during and such was successful but it turned out like this anyway, so I think this last binge has run hard enough for some veins to start collapsing again. :( I hate how after the fact you think about what you were thinking while doing it “maybe I should just stop and try a different spot” but it’s too late. You’re out now, and because of this tough luck, poor judgement, self harm, by somehow fucking it up, you’ve actually managed to make yourself even more of a loser.
November92012
I just took a shot
It’s 2:30am I’m at the point now where I’m slowly doing the bits of drugs I earlier told myself that I would definitely resist, and save for tomorrow, happens almost every time. So I’m out of coke now, and after having just taken that last shot of d all that remains is one more shot, the only substance that will actually likely survive until tomorrow, and shall delay withdrawal until when I wake up on Saturday. I really hope it’s not too bad this time, which reminds me I need to pick up some loperamide before that time comes. To me that’s an absolute must have. I don’t do weird shit with it like take 50 pills and drink a bunch of juices and start doing jumping jacks to help it cross the blood brain barrier. If you’ve ever read threads about that shit you will find that funny, if not, don’t bother, it’s stupid, just take the Imodium as needed.
I’m warm, my eye lids are finally becoming heavy, my 4lb Yorkshire terrier is curled up in a ball laying across my chest/stomach. I feel good, it’s so artificial and short lived. My arms are bruised and scarred, repeatedly using the same injection sites. Just a careless human pin cushion. This binge is coming to an end hopefully/unfortunately. I look forward to being clean, I really don’t look forward to getting clean. Still got one last shot for tomorrow. The only thing giving me any sort of peace of mind. Aside from the fact that I’m about to crawl into an already preheated bed, and put my arms around an absolutely gorgeous, 23 year old woman. Too bad speed balls are so much better than sex.
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