March192014

Anonymous asked: At one point this blog was raw, real and genuine. I appreciated your story and struggle with addiction. Now it’s solitary about some douchebag with an inflated ego that romanticizes sex, drugs, and partying while trying so goddamn hard to come across as articulate. You try wayyyy too fucking hard man. It’s sad.

It was always about the same douche all along, my good man. I don’t really try to romanticize any of those things a great deal. At least, I don’t really think that I do, or that it would make all that much sense for me to be portraying an intricate lust and appreciation for them considering through maturing and sobriety I hold so many, much more simple, less interesting things to have a far greater value. Ego was always there, but just as is blatantly revealed, it’s a simple common blocking mechanism. I can accept all of this, and perhaps at times certainly understand where you’re coming from, aside from the trying hard thing. That actually confuses me quite greatly. I really can’t seem to imagine what or why I am doing to try so hard… I’m a junky… Posting cell phone pictures of injections, bodily effects, and sexy play times. None of which was really ever all that difficult. I only ever use my phone. I type with my two thumbs, with incredible pace, as a result of baring an iphone since the days of the two gee. I don’t think I tried all that hard to do anything. I’m really quite a lazy piece of shit. I’m a heroin addict. I thought that was obvious? Annnnnnyway, I don’t make you watch, so don’t, why make the effort to even send some junky hate mail. I hate to finally now turn to offensive nature but that just clicked with me. You’re intentionally taking the time to anonymously put down a complete fuck up, disgusting drug addict loser. Aim for someone with some self worth or something? That just sounds so pathetic. Cheers faggot

March172014

Anonymous asked: the only thing better than sex itself & drugs themselves is sex on drugs

And occasionally consuming which ever cuisine that at the time you happen to desire, as if it is the finest. Slash smoking.

March162014

iamhislilith asked: hello i really enjoy reading your blog. addiction is terrible lonely but we're all suffering together somehow somewhere...

That’s whats powerful about the rooms of NA. We don’t have to do it on our own. Never.Alone.

4AM

veganamaste asked: The first time you did H, did you shoot it or sniff it? Or smoke it even, tell us about your first experience.

Quite distant from having any idea as to whether or not such has been mentioned in the past, and furthermore if so, to what extent I was inspired to make the effort to produce much of a description. I feel as if I have but here goes My shift to Injecting speedballs was certainly come about on an irregular path. I explain in other posts my addictive behavioural patters, and how for years they would consistently vary in a similar fashion, by season January-February had gone by and I was making my way into March having created what I’m sure was, at the time, my largest bout of sobriety. However, when I get sober I fiend on other things. I was benching sets of 250lbs, squatting 350, and all the while must have been weighing in at about 190lbs. Work-gym-study for my next power engineering certificate, feed, fuck, repeat. I cut off most social interaction for it’s simply a waste of time and money, as well as has a tendency to involve consumption of food/nutrients, or drugs, that would be counter productive and hardly worth while. Quit smoking. The days roll by, the weeks go by, and the drug addict in me grows frustrated and hungry, as I optimize my appearance, educations, and financial situation. Getting bored. Restless. Finally, I decide to go abut the somewhat juvenile procedure of cold water extracting the shitty codeine from t1s (over the counter here). Ah. Really hit the spot in the evening, my body always being so tired, muscles sore; and as beach season approaches, brings a satisfying relief to the discomfort of starvation. One day I’m watching intervention, and for what I imagine was the first time in my life that u was really paying attention, I watched a middle aged woman inject cocaine using an insulin needle. I happened to have insulin needles, for subcutaneous injections of the peptides I had purchased online (ex. “Melanotan”). “Oh…. So that’s how thy inject drugs” huh interesting. The woman I was unhealthily madly I love with hurt me quite significantly. I spent my whole life avoiding appropriate coping of my emotions by just using drugs. That was it. The cork popped So without any predisposition to anyone I ever knew using needles to consume drugs I decided to make the biggest mistake of my life, to set out on a quest. Got needles, asked my coke dealer if he could get me heroin, bought heroin, googled the details as to how one goes about performing an intravenous injection, and did so. Just went out and did it. From sobriety to IV. Consider this. My friend Matt, having lived his own life of being an addict took interest in my actions. Without assistance he did the same thing, but after a few times, I did it with him, and taught him how to use a needle. I also started using it with my fiancĂ© at the time. Three-early twenty something young adults, middle-class, Caucasians, a journeyman plumber, a power engineer, and a waitress. Within two years, went from all living on their own successfully, independently for well over half a decade, having successful employment positions and financial status, in multiple year long romantic relationships. To all broken up, getting assistance by parents, getting counselling, my ex and I each separately went to rehab after nearly killing each-other, and my friend Matt… RIP.

March152014

Anonymous asked: both

Then I assume that you have the obligatory good sense of humour as well as additional skills at performing oral sex. But…. Completely toothless? Hmmm

6AM

Anonymous asked: If you wont have sex with me I'll rape you! (Don't take this serious :D)

Who are you? And does that mean you’re fat… Or… Toothless?

5AM

Anonymous asked: Your beautiful! You have a beautiful face and a beautiful soul. I think I love you

Don’t know what to say to this one, I’m just really reaching out to my followers in the middle of the night right now. Despite the many strong aspects of my seemingly arrogant personality, I’ve actually never thought highly of myself at all. I don’t think I’m “beautiful” that’s for sure. But how I really feel isn’t what people necessarily wanna hear. Confidence is the single most sexy thing in existence, as far as I’m concerned. I don’t have a mutual respect for women because of the consistent lack of their ability to challenge me.

I’m ranting…

And being sexist…

Cough cough

Thanks for the compliment.

Cheers bitch

5AM

Anonymous asked: I don't even know you and I'm so attracted to you. I know this is weird but there's something special about you.

I hate how ridiculously vein this will sound, but that’s not weird at all. All too common. It was really interesting to me actually, when my life went to shit last spring, I was suddenly meeting so many people and closely conversing so often. I would often observe this look on people’s face. Often like an epiphany of appreciation of my depth, intelligence, more importantly, humanity, understanding, comfort in being so from this planet.

People fall in love with me if I want them to, if I don’t, they hate me. I’m sly, cunning, quick, versatile, unpredictable, and you can suck my dick, if I let you.

5AM

And like I’ve recently mentioned

All you need is love.

And if you’re physically dependant…

An ideally consistent supply of opiates.

5AM

sydddxx3 asked: I want you.

Eff-Why-Eye, I’m easy.
However, no fat chicks (sorry if you do happen to be, it’s just not my style.), and preferably have all teeth.

To defend my incredibly shallow seeming self I will take a second here to go about explaining the fact that I actually spent much of my life overweight, which is really the core motive to my particular disgust of fatty-tissue abundant humans. Prior to marijuana actually, I’m under the impression that food/over eating was the first unhealthy/addictive coping-mechanism/behaviour I found myself resorting to/indulging in. Not that I was ever particularly by any means suffering of childhood obesity or anything even close to that. But I was bullied as a result of it, and I’m incredibly familiar with and understanding of the whole “fat bastard syndrome” (“I eat because I’m sad, I’m sad because I eat”). Sunday was my last night of eating poorly and Monday was going to be the great big start to my new life. I couldn’t do it. I was frustrated.

All my overweight followers understand. So know that I understand you.
Eventually though I found myself come to an age where accessing high quality vagina was of at most priority, as well as drugs, partying, being cool. Even further on eventually the gym was an addiction, supplements, clean eating, fucking, cheating, getting my dick wet.

Guys pinch at that bottom roll on their bellies too ladies. “The pressures of Hollywood” aren’t just towards females ladies and gents. Were not all massive, tall, hairless, ripped models ourselves.

From being understanding of being overweight, obviously sympathetic, and trapped in the cycle of being a lazy, over eating, whiney piece of shit, to being disgusted by it. Because. You have one body. One life to live. Only so many days, so many fucks. It increases employment opportunities, financial benefits, friends, family appreciation, and most of all, quantity of pussy. (Aka “love”)(pft)